im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
