Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
