I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
