Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
