What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
