i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
