Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
