That's intense
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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