Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
