I am puke
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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