Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
