White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize