Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
