Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
How naked do you want me to be?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
