do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize