I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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