Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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