Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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