I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i dont even know how to be here
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
