can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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