I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Watching her eat just hurts me
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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