We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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