I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
please don't ironically join a cult
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