That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
