Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize