i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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