Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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