Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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