dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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