he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
