Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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