So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
