the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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