So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
