You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
