just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
