on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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