a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
