you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize