is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You can't motorboat a personality
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize