I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Shame - the story of my life.
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