that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
