I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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