Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
