No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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