My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
