It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize