and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
