My pussy is not your playground.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
