No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
