possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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