how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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