I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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