In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
