I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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