My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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