I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
