Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
