Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
