whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
