I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
