Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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