Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
