If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
