i may or may not be watching the land before time
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
