The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
