best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
