i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
